Comedian Lee Nelson Interview

Lee Nelson, star of BBC Three’s breakout hit comedy series Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show, is set to embark on a 42-date national stand-up tour following the success of his critically acclaimed sell-out UK debut tour, Lee Nelson’s Well Good Tour. This time with best mate and ‘fat legend’ Omelette in tow, Lee Nelson Live will be coming to theatres nationwide from 4th October 2011.

Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show has been a ratings hit for BBC Three, winning consolidated viewing figures of over 2 million per episode and reaching as high as number two in the BBC iPlayer chart for most-watched show across all BBC channels. The second series is currently on air on Thursday nights on BBC Three and the DVD of the first series is now available and includes over 80 minutes of brand new DVD extras.

LEE NELSON wanted to add: “stop readin this rubbish + get urself a tkt – its not like u lot have 2 pay!”

Below is a Syndicated Interview With Lee Nelson.

How did you land your own TV show, Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show?
I sent in clips in to the BBC of me and my best mate and fat legend Omelette messing about. Like one where I broke in to Omelette’s flat at 3 in the morning, cling-filmed him to his bed, and shoved an entire box of crunchy nut cornflakes in his gob. Its funny coz he’s got a nut allergy.
Can you describe the show for someone who’s never seen it?
It’s a well mental proper funny half hour for the whole family. Jokes, games, banter, my Nan rapping and my best mate Omelette eating.
So where are you going during your tour?
I’m going up and down the whole of the UK visiting every crap town I can get to.
Which town are you most looking forward to?
London, Shepherd’s Bush Empire. I can’t wait. All my family and mates is going to be there. Get your tickets now it’s going to be the party of the century. You best be quick cos tickets are flying out the door – we’ve just added another show there.
You’re from London – what’s the best thing about London? The worst?
London’s got the best of everything. Best nightlife, best bars, best clubs. Even our transport’s the best – London must have the greatest rail replacement bus service in the world. The worst thing is the crime which, to be fair, I ain’t helping with.
What do you think of the Olympics coming to London? Have you got tickets?
It’s well exciting although the organisers have been stupid building some of the venues now. Do they not realise what happens if you leave a building empty, in East London for 12 months? By the time of the opening ceremony the Velodrome’s going to be a burnt out crack den. Me and the boys have got tickets to the birds’ beach volleyball. We’re in row A and we’re still bringing some binoculars.
Which town are you least looking forward to on tour?
I don’t want to pick one town in particular but special mention must go to the whole of Wales.
Which part of the country do you get the funniest people?
Probably Birmingham cos their city’s a bit of a joke.
What about the grumpiest?
North Londoners. They’re always so unhappy when I nick their phone.
Where do you sleep when you’re on tour?
Next to which ever bird I get lucky with. Or if I ain’t in the mood, on top of Omelette.
What’s the best thing about being on tour?
Meeting the fans. They’re proper brilliant.
What’s the worst thing about being on tour?
I miss my little boy. When I’m on tour without him I’ve got to buy my own ciggies.
How would you describe yourself to someone who’s never seen your act?
I’m an absolute legend.
You’re taking Omelette with you. Is that his real name?
Of course that’s his real name.  When he was christened they dipped him in milk, salt and pepper.
How long have you known him?
Me and Omelette go way back, I’ve known him since he was an egg.
What’s so great about him?
Basically, he’s a fat legend.
What’s your favourite kind of omelette?
Ham, mushroom, chicken, cheese, onions, and Tabasco sauce. Serve with 4 pints.

You’ve got a fiancée – what’s her name and can you tell us a bit about her?
Her name’s Amber. And she’s 36F-24-34.

How did you meet her? How did you chat her up?
I met her in a club and I still remember seeing her for the first time thinking oh my gosh… you’ll do!
I said “is your name Laura L? Coz you’re worth it.”

What’s the most romantic thing you’ve done for her?
I cooked her a meal for our anniversary. She loved it. Although I’ll let you in to a little secret, I never cooked it, I bought it! She didn’t have a clue though and just sat in the back of the car eating her nuggets.
How did you propose?
I laid a dozen roses on her bed. She loves the caramel ones.

Doesn’t she mind when you flirt with girls in your audience?
Not at all coz I’m just talking to them innit. She don’t like me sleeping with them afterwards so I never tell her about that.

What would you do if you caught her with another bloke?
Film it.

What’s your best chat-up line?
You’re the best-looking girl I’ve ever seen… in your category.
How do you rate yourself in the bedroom out of ten?
That’s not for to me to decide. I’ll leave that to YouTube viewers.
What’s your secret trick when it comes to charming the ladies?
What was your best ever date?
First one with Amber. I couldn’t stop thinking about her the next day. Probably coz I had the itchiest balls of my life.
Who’s your celebrity crush?
Vanessa Hudgens, Natalie Portman, Emily Atack, Ashley Greene, Mila Kunis, Kim Kardashian, Adriana Lima, Kristen Stewart, Cheryl Cole, Jessica Alba, Irina Shayk, Nicole Scherzinger, Kelly Brook, Marisa Miller, Brooklyn Decker, Olivia Wilde, Mega Fox, Rihanna, Katy Perry, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.
Your son’s called Stairwell. How come?
We done a Posh n Becks and named him after where we done it!
Are you a good dad?
The best. Just ask Social Services.
How has fatherhood changed your life?
Totally. I can’t just leave my little boy at home, go clubbing, bosh some pills, bang a bird, come back to the flat 2 days later. These days I’m a dad. I got to take him with!
Who looks after him when you’re at work?
I’ve no idea.

How many kids would you like?
Me and Amber is arguing about this at the moment. She wants to have four more kids whereas I’d quite like to just split up.

You’ve got a 13-year-old sister. Are you protective of her?
Yeah but I wish she’d be more protective of herself. She’s four months pregnant.
Your Nan sings on your show. How would you describe her style?  Does she ever embarrass you?
Dizzee Rascal meets Tinie Tempah at Bingo. And I’m well proud of her.
You use the word ‘legend’ a lot. Who is the biggest legend of all time?
Me innit. But the ‘fat legend’ category has to go my best mate Omelette.
What were you like at school?
Naughty. I hated school, they were the worst three days of my life.
What was your favourite lesson?
Can’t remember which lesson but the one with the fit French teacher.
How many times did you get expelled and why?
Lots and lots. I was kicked out my last school for slashing the headmaster’s tyres. He was stuck in his wheelchair for 20 minutes!
Have you ever been in trouble with the law?
Yeah, but nothing serious. I get caught speeding quite a lot. In fact I just had to go on one of them speed awareness courses. I wonder if anyone can beat my record of South London to the speed awareness course in Milton Keynes in 23 minutes?
What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?
136 mph… in a car park. B&Q to World of Leather in under 4 seconds.
Do people recognise you in the street? What do they say?
All the time. The boys give me a fist bump, the girls give me a snog. And everyone gives me ‘qwaliteeeeeee’.

Do you like being famous?
Yeah, it’s brilliant. The only down side is getting papped all the time coz sometimes you just want to be left alone. Like last week, I was minding my own business doing 60 in a 30 and the flashes go off.

Have you ever pulled a girl from the audience of a tour or your TV show?
Yes, but I’m married to Amber so it’s never more than a 1 night stand.
You did Let’s Dance for Comic Relief with Omelette but you didn’t win. Were you gutted?
No, we was just proud to take part in a charity event that raised millions for Africa. Only joking, we were massively gutted.
Why did you choose the song Club Tropicana?
It was Omelette’s choice. He loves their orange juice.
You take the mick out of the audience a lot – has anyone ever taken offence?
Nah, the audience love it! I talk to them, they talk to me. I take the mick out of them, they take the mick out of me. That way at the end of the show, someone gets bottled.
Some quick-fire questions next:
A million pounds drops in to your lap and you have to spend it as quickly as possible – what do you do?
Buy a not very good Premier League footballer.
Do you have any weird phobias?
A naked Omelette running at me.
What’s your worst habit?
Who’s the most famous name in your blackberry?
My Nan.
Who was your last text from and what did it say?
‘Tea’s ready luv?’ from my Nan.
Have you ever been starstruck?
Yeah I love their Frappuccinos.
What was your best ever holiday?
Lads’ holiday to Faliraki. Twelve of us went. Only nine of us made it back.
What’s your dream job?
Tricky one. Either hand or blow.
What would you be doing if you weren’t famous?
Not a lot to be honest.
What are your desert island essentials?
A lush bird and her best mate.
When was the last time you cried?
Toy Story 3.
What would be your X Factor audition song?
My theme tune by Dizzee Rascal.
If you were on Come Dine With Me, what would you cook?
Home made Nandos.
What’s the most embarrassing piece of clothing you own?
Some superman PJs.
If you were an animal, what would you be?
A stud horse.